 As some of you already know, I like waffles. I like all kinds of breakfast food, provided it can be slathered in butter and/or maple syrup.
I'm also a lazy bastard, so when I saw this box of Eggo cereal in the store, I had to buy it. Imagine: pouring yourself a bowl of minature waffles. No fuss with the cooking, no freezer burned waffles that you just bought last week (what's up with that anyway?), no driving to IHOP.
So tonight I took the box out and got down to business. Immediately upon opening the bag I was assaulted by a violent smell that was vaguely maple-ish but not anything that might occur in nature. I waved the box around, saying "arg!" and hoped that the smell would settle down a bit. It did, but it was still pretty powerful.
I poured myself a bowl and walked back into my office and sat down. The smell was still present and had mutated into something very strange, something odd and entirely un-food-like. Well, they aren't scoring any points with this smell, I thought.
I scooped up a spoonful of them and chewed and, holy crap, they really do taste like little waffles. They're even buttery. How do they DO that? The second and third spoonfuls were pretty good also. After that, the novelty started to wear off.
As I was getting to the bottom of the bowl, it started to seem kind of disturbing that they were buttery, and I checked the surface of the milk for an oily sheen. I didn't see one, but the mouth feel of these things is downright bizarre. They are crunchy, but leave behind this vaguely greasy (and buttery, I suppose) feeling in your mouth.
Nevermind that; I am a professional and I must finish my analysis. I slurped the milk down and I was done.
Urp. Maple burps. Oh, I hope this isn't going to be an ongoing thing.
Overall they were a little disappointing. As a convincing simulation of miniature waffles with a shelf life of a year, I suppose they were sort of impressive. As a meal that I might like to have every day, not so much. I think it's going to be back to Honeycomb for me. I'm not sure I'll even finish the box.
Urp.
 | If you are that lazy to cook your own breakfast, you deserved that Eggo treatment!, hehe!. |
 | jvon wrote on Jun 27, '07  I can actually picture you doing this  There was kind of a little dance involved, also.
|
| jvon wrote on Jun 27, '07 Oh and I'm throwing the rest of them out today. I felt kind of queasy for an hour after eating these. It shouldn't be possible to make someone feel queasy with a breakfast cereal. God knows what is in these things.
|
 | See this is why I stick to Peanut Butter Cap'n Crunch and Corn Pops. |
 | They'd be the wrong texture, for one... |
 | file a lawsuit... it's the only way. |
| jvon wrote on Jun 27, '07 Dude, I really do think I am traumatized. I'm afraid to put them in the compost bin... what if they have so many preservatives in them that they stop everything from decomposing? I feel like I should call a hazmat crew.
|
| If you toss those in a compost pile, you will have eleventy billion ants break dancing on cardboard paper in your yard... it's prob. best to burn them |
| jvon wrote on Jun 27, '07 You think ants will eat them? I think they may have more sense.
|
| I think ants will eat some of it and break the rest of it down, categorize and haul it away to some place and build their pièce de résistance... then they'll start inviting their homies over... loud music etc... burn the cereal dude. |
| jvon wrote on Jul 15, '07 It is still in my closet but I think I am going to risk putting it in the compost pile. We'll see what happens to it in there. Consider it a scientific experiment.
|
| jvon wrote on Jul 15, '07 I'm putting it in there with the box -- I'm betting the box decomposes first.
|
|
Platinum Account
Enjoy my site?
Give to Spirit of America
|
